1000 Ways to get Kicked Out of HQ
by Harli Rey
Summary: Ever hear of '1000 Ways to get Kicked Out of Walmart? Well, this is the Black Order HQ version! Includes many odd pairings eventually. Complete crack! WARNING: SPOILERS. DO NOT READ IF YOU HAVEN'T FINISHED AT LEAST THE ANIME. Recent chapters include: Ouiji boards, cheesy yo mama jokes, Slenderman, killer banana peels, and Kanda the sparkle fairy princess.
1. 1-10

Ever hear of '1000 Way to get Kicked Out of Walmart'? Well, this is the Black Order HQ version!

All are either original or based off the walmart versions.

I do not own D. Gray Man or any of its characters, and I also do not own Walmart. If I did, well, hooray, I get to be a billionaire. But nope. It's a lie. I'm not billionaire, I don't even have a 1 dollar bill. /sob/

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**1. Sit on Komui's desk and stare at the ceiling.**

Krory almost cried when Lavi wouldn't tell him what he saw up there.

**2. Hide in a closet. When someone walks past, open the closet door just a tiny bit and say, "Psst, selling food stamps. You interested?"**

Allen was all in for this, and was very disappointed when it turned out that there wasn't actually any food stamps.

**3. Run up behind someone who just walked out of the bathroom and hug them really tightly and tell them how much you missed them.**

Even though Allen told Krory that Kanda would appreciate it, that didn't seem to be the case when Krory ended up in the infirmary unit with a concussion. After that, Krory didn't really trust Allen so much anymore.

**4. Find some light sabers and have an epic star wars fight. **

Lavi and Allen were having the time of their lives up until Kanda walked by and chopped their light sabers in half. But luckily for them, it's the imagination that counts and they continued to play with two half-sabers. Kanda threatened to chop off their hands shortly after, and that finally put an end to it.

**5. Set up a tent in the hallway and light a fire and roast marshmallows.**

Komui unleashed Sir Komlin lll when he found out that Lenalee was camping with Allen. Lenalee destroyed the unfortunate robot, although Allen was upset because the marshmallows got smushed up.

**6. Pretend to pass out in the middle of a conversation.**

Krory didn't know what to do when Lenalee collapsed in front of him. Lenalee gave up her act when Krory tried to give her mouth-to-mouth.

**7. Start a food fight.**

Allen nearly cried when he saw how much food ended up wasted.

**8. Follow someone into the bathroom and go into the stall next to them. Pretend that you are having some 'issues'.**

Allen was officially disturbed when he heard Lavi groaning and yelling, "This isn't good, is it supposed to be that shade of orange!? Agh, it burns! Someone help me!" Allen quickly escaped the restroom, and hasn't looked at Lavi the same way since.

**9. Dress up like someone from Kiss and blast their music in your room. When someone comes in to see what's up, stick out your tongue and hiss.**

When Kanda opened Allen's door, he was not expecting what he saw and unleashed Netherworld Insects on, surprisingly, Lavi. Poor Allen was tied up in the back. Apparently, Lavi had mugged him, Allen claimed.

**10. Run down the hallways naked.**

Lavi thought someone said, "It's bath time!" and in his excitement, ripped off all his clothes and ran down to the shower room laughing and yelling, "WHHEEEEE!" Allen decided that it would be good blackmail at some point, Komui covered Lenalee's eyes, and Krory tried to join Lavi but Kanda threatened him so he decided that running to the shower room naked with Lavi would be bad for his health.

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I'll be posting these in 10's. I'll try to get a new one out every day, but don't count on it!

~Aereo


	2. 11-20

****These ones are all original, and done in school! I know a few of them are a little dull, sorry, my muse wasn't really with me today. But anyways, enjoy!

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**11. Get a broom and pretend to be a witch.**

Lenalee pulled it off pretty well, considering that her Dark Boots allowed her to fly. She terrified Krory with her cackling though, which seemed a little too in-character to Lavi, Kanda, Allen and the rest of the HQ staff.

**12. Kidnap someone and demand ransom for their return.**

Komui demanded that Lenalee draw him a picture so he could put something in their new 'Family Journal' that he decided they should establish. Poor Allen found that he was, yet again, tied up in a dark closet. Little did he know that there was rats, and when he felt them waltzing up his back, he decided that he now had a phobia of rats.

**13. Walk up behind someone, sniff them, and tell them that they smell bad.**

Lavi walked up behind the unexpecting Allen and took a deep, long whiff of his shoulder. He brushed back Allen's hair [oh so tenderly] and whispered in his ear, "You smell like a rotting fish." Allen then proceeded the whack Lavi on the head.

**14. Activate the smoke alarms.**

Even though it was just Kanda's obnoxiously long hair getting caught on the smoke alarm lever unexpectedly, everyone blamed it on Lavi since he had used his Fire Seal to light a fire for Allen and Lenalee to roast marshmallows at their campsite earlier that day.

**15. Hide under someone's desk. When someone walks by, throw something at them, but do not let yourself be seen.**

Krory was doing pretty well until he threw a piece of broccoli at Allen, who decided that the best way to settle the matter was to go all-out Crowned Clown on him since the poor broccoli never had a chance. Neither did Krory, in the end.

**16. Write a Death Note and leave it on someone's desk.**

Allen was thoroughly disturbed when everyone he wrote down on the list ended up dying on the Ark when they got trapped on it. He decided that he would never write a Death Note again.

**17. Get a shoebox and put your head in it and look inside, claiming how amazing the 'thing' is that you are looking at. When someone asks you what it is, tell them it's classified information.**

Krory got even more insecure when Lavi told him that he was, quote, "Inferior and does not have the qualifications necessary to view this abstract yet tantalizing specimen."

**18. Throw Jell-O at people and then run for your life.**

Kanda spent hours trying to get it all out of his hair after Komui launched an aerial Jell-O assault on him via the help of Sir Komlin lll.

**19. Send creepy fan letters to people.**

Allen wasn't all that surprised when he got a letter saying, "I want to CENSORED and CENSORED until CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED and CENSCORED CENSCORED CENSCORED. I will see you there, Allen Walker." After all, he did get quite a few odd letters from his fangirls now and then. Lavi was disappointed that Allen didn't agree to do what his letter asked.

**20. When someone speaks to you, speak back in another language.**

Allen tried to speak to Kanda in Japanese, but unfortunately, he forgot that Kanda spoke fluent Japanese and his plan backfired painfully after he said, quote, [in Japanese] "Kanda-san, you are one BLEEP of a BLEEPING BLEEP BLEEP." Kanda then knocked him out.

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Numbers 12, 15, 16, and 17 are all based off true things that happened in the Cafeteria so far this year. I feel especially strong about number 12, since I was the one who got kidnapped in this situation, by our enemy table. They demanded that my friends give them the carrots for my return. My ever faithful friends refused, however, leaving me to the mercy of my captors who did many, many unspeakable deeds to me that I'd rather not go into explaining for the courtesy of preventing the permanent damage to our younger, innocent viewers. Now you know where I get my ideas!

~Aereo


	3. 21-30

Need more reviews to keep this going! There's no point in updating if I don't know if anyone likes these or not! XD

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**21. Make armor out of tin foil [a helmet, chest plate and shoulder plates at the least] and barricade yourself behind someone's desk [which you stealthy knock onto its side]**

Lavi saved the beautiful young maiden from the evil dragon lord Delphendorr and saved the day. Unfortunately, neither Lenalee nor Kanda found this game to be amusing. Komui resorted to sending Sir Komlin lll after Lavi the knight, and much to his dismay, the armor didn't help much.

**22. Claim that there is an entrance to Narnia in someone's closet.**

"I swear, there's the entrance! Right there!" Krory said, pointing frantically to the inside of his closet. Allen, Lavi, and Lenalee stared, not believing, while Kanda just che'd. When they walked away, Krory looked back into his closet, at the swirling portal that led to Narnia. A lion stuck its head through the portal. "Come, Krory.. Your destiny awaits."

Krory didn't want to go.

The lion snarled.

Krory went to Narnia.

**23. Sneak into someone's room at night dressed up as a sparkle fairy princess.**

Kanda awakened to see a glittery, shiny and yet pale figure leaning over his bed. "Edward, I knew you'd come tonight.."

**24. Place a dollar on the floor, hide behind a corner and when someone tries to pick it up, yell at them for stealing your dollar.**

Lavi thought it was funny to see people get so flustered when he yelled at them for taking his dollar, particularly the Finders who were skittish enough around the Exorcists. However, when Allen found the dollar and Lavi ran out to tell him off, Allen snarled and Lavi decided that he valued his life over a dollar bill.

**25. Have a pokemon battle.**

"Timcanpy, use bite! Go!"

Kanda's golem ate Timcanpy and that put an end to the pokemon battle.

**26. Start a bar fight in the cafeteria.**

Kanda beat everyone up and the high generals decided that alcoholic beverages be kept from Kanda. He hadn't had any alchohol whatsoever, though.

**27. Run up to someone and b*tch slap them, and yell, "I thought what we had was special!" **

Poor Bookman was completely dumbfounded after Lavi ran away, crying. He really meant what he had said.

**28. Have someone pour a bucket of water on you while you have an umbrella, and sing the rain song.**

"Rain, rain, go away, come again another day.." Allen sang loudly. This caused the Ark to smash into HQ, so they had to move to the new place.

**29. Hit someone on the head with a raw steak then act like nothing happened.**

Allen's whistling gave it away after he whaled Kanda in the back of the head with a pork tenderloin.

**30. Put laxatives in someone's drink.**

Poor Komui spent a couple hours in the bathroom after Reever got back at him for siccing Komlin lll on Lavi earlier that day.

OoOoOoOo

BLOOPER!

"Hey... does anyone know where Krory went?"

"No, not since this morning."

"Hm."

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Sorry for the wait, but here it is! XD

~Aereo


	4. 31-40

**31. Whisper death threats to people.**

It was scary because Allen actually did appear in Lavi's room that night.

**32. Buy everything from a store and put it all on Allen's tab.**

This caused the Apocalypse.

**33. Accuse someone of being an illegal immigrant.**

Allen wanted to cry when Komui started yelling at him about not owning a passport.

**34. Act out a Lord of the Rings play.**

"We must get the sacred Kanda and throw it into the volcano to stop further destruction..." The old bookman declared. "Who will be brave enough to transport it to the volcano?"

Allen raised his hand slowly.

Kanda slapped it back down.

The Lord of the Kandas never made it past the first scene.

**35. Get Kanda to use hair gel.**

While Kanda was asleep, Lavi snuck into his room and spiked his hair into the world's biggest mohawk. Kanda nearly fainted in the morning when he looked into the mirror. It was a terrible case of bedhead indeed.

**36. Ride a segway through the hallways.**

General Cross ran over Allen by 'accident'.

**37. Balance everything you can find on the tips of your fingers, nose, toes and any other parts that it would be possible.**

Allen was attracting lots of attention when he started balancing stacks of paper and tools from the science division on his fingers, but it started getting creepy with he tried to get Lenalee to stand on his nose.

**38. Defy gravity. **

Lavi was very confused when Komui just upped and floated away in the middle of their conversation.

**39. Become a superhero and save people.**

It was ruined when Lavi decided that he needed a superhero outfit, and he put on a speedo over a skin-tight yellow and red full body suit.

**40. Have a talent show.**

It was discovered that Johnny was incredible at irish tap dancing.

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Thanks for all the reviews for last chapter! :D

I did 31-35 before school yesterday, and I has to chase my bus down because I was late. You guys better like them :U

hehe. I'm just kidding, I love you all.

Don't forget to review! :D

~Aereo


	5. 41-50

This chapter is partly Slender based because I just played it and now I'm all jittery and I have so many different ideas for this, so enjoy.

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**41. Play Slender.**

When Slenderman popped up, Lenalee screamed, Allen cried, Lavi threw Komui in front of him and Kanda che'd.

**42. Dress up as Slenderman and hide behind corners.**

When Krory returned from Narnia and saw Slenderman, he ran straight back through the portal. Komui, in a slenderman outfit, ran away, seeing as that Slenderman was actually the real one.

**43. Post 8 notes throughout HQ.**

Allen had just found the 8th note and was running towards it when Slenderman caught him.

**44. At night, sneak into someone's room dressed as slenderman. Stand over them and when they wake up, just stare down at them.**

Kanda woke up to see a slenderman leaning over him. He che'd.

**45. Blast dubstep through HQ.**

Everyone died thanks to the intense bass drops.

**46. Learn to play a fiddle.**

Kanda was good at it, but the high pitches made everyone's ears bleed.

**47. Act out a fight.**

Allen and Kanda's fighting act was very realistic, until both ended up in the infirmary. Turns out it wasn't actually an act, and Kanda ended up with a bad bruise on his shoulder [which he magically healed by saying 'che'] and Allen got one of his front teeth knocked out, leaving a big gap. Allen opted towards getting dentures, which suited him well considering his old man's hair.

**48. Walk up to someone you don't know and act all surprised and say something along the lines of "Oh, I haven't seen you in so long!" **

Lavi stopped and backpeddled towards a random Finder, grabbed his shoulders and yelled, "You! I remember you from highschool! How's life been going, bro?" It turns out that the Finder actually had gone to highschool with Lavi, and Lavi had beaten him up once or twice. The Finder punched Lavi in the face and walked off.

**49. Bear hug someone.**

Lavi bear hugged Lenalee and Komui freaked out. Komui accused Lavi of being a pervert, Lenalee kicked him, and Lavi ended up getting killed by Slenderman.

**50. Go bungee jumping.**

Miranda went splat after the cord snapped.

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Meh, these were a little dull... hope you like them nonetheless!

~aereo


	6. 51-60

Sorry this one took so long... holidays are so busy! The next chapter might take a while too, since my birthday's coming up as well as a snowboarding trip, and if I manage to injure my right wrist again [it's some weird tradition- every time I go snowboarding for the first time in the season, I injure my right wrist- last year I sprained it on my birthday, and I couldn't write or draw for a week afterwards ;n; it was torture...] Oh, and I hope everyone survived the Apocalypse! Was anyone else staring at the clock during class, just waiting for it to turn to 12:12 with 12 seconds and 12 milliseconds on 12/12/12? I know I was.

ANYWAYS

I hope everyone had an awesome holiday, whatever you celebrate! Feliz Navidas, Happy Hanaka, Happy Kwanza, et cetera! And happy new year's too, if I don't update before then!

This one's based off the holiday season, snow sport-related injuries, and apocalyptic events! Enjoy!

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**51. Put up the biggest Christmas tree you can find.**

Komui had to get the biggest tree after saying, quote, "Only the most perfect tree will do for my dear, sweet Lenalee!" He then forced Allen to transport him to Sequoia National Park in California to cut down General Sherman.

**52. Hold a Secret Santa event.**

It was decided that instead of a Secret Santa, they'd hold a 'Secret Kanda' event. Somehow, the event was twisted around so that instead of giving gifts to people, everyone dressed up as Kanda and pretended to be him. It became Black Order Tradition to host a Secret Kanda during the holidays.

**53. Go caroling.**

Komui, Lenalee, Lavi, Allen and a drunken General Cross ended up on Noise Marie's doorstep singing 'Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer'. Then, General Cross [in his drunken bliss] whipped out Maria and she started singing along too, which made Noise Marie's earphones explode. Noise Marie cried.

**54. Make green bean casserole.**

Allen was the only one who ate it, which offended Jerry in a way. Green bean casserole is a holiday tradition, and everyone must eat it. Then General Cross, who was drunk, face planted in it and began making out with it, which made everyone [even Allen] back away.

**55. Have a snowball fight.**

It was all fun and games until Lavi threw a snowball at Bookman. The old man then proceeded to go all-out panda on him. Lavi ended up on his back in the snow, and everyone laughed and kicked him in their joyous holiday spirit.

**56. Go ice skating.**

Lenalee probably would have been just fine, except Komui ended up putting a hundred pounds of protective gear on her, claiming that, quote, "Ice skating is known for causing bruises."

**57. Have a sledding race.**

Allen and Lavi were head-to-head, both zooming down a hill [everyone's strong holiday spirit caused tectonic plates to shift and make a hill]. They were at a tie until both flew over the cliff, unable to stop themselves in time because they were flying too fast. Luckily, Timcanpy made himself really fat then ate Allen and Lavi. When he managed to fly is now fat buttocks back up the cliff back to HQ, he vomited Allen and Lavi, along with all the food he'd stolen beforehand.

**58. Hold a Christmas pageant.**

It was a cute idea, but when they actually held the pageant, Allen forgot his lines, Timcanpy didn't show up as the star, Lavi yelled at people [especially Allen] since he was the director, the fourth wall was broken, and one of the actual walls fell down on half the cast. It was unanimously voted that there should never be another Christmas pageant again.

**59. Introduce Fanfiction to HQ.**

When everyone saw Yullen, Laven, and the bitter hate of Lenalee, all hell broke loose. This was the start of the Apocalypse.

**60. Kanda and Allen actually do get together.**

This went up against all space and time, and the world imploded. However, their love was not broken, and even as they were vaporized, they held hands lovingly.

"Kanda, I will stay with you even after we become molecules..."

"Che."

* * *

As you can see, I like to make fun of Yullen. I mean, Kanda and Allen are always fighting and punching and trying to rip eachother's hair out. In what world would they possibly fall in love..?

Yeah. Yullen would cause the apocalypse. Never mind the Mayans and their calanders, this is the serious shat.

~Aereo


	7. 61-70

Sorry this took so long guys! I forgot the email that I used for my account and spent many days trying to figure it out so I could actually log in. D: BUT I GOT IT NOW YAY. Enjoy ~

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**61. Knock someone out.**

Lavi knocked Kanda out by hitting him in the head with his hammer as he walked out of his room in morning. A little while later, when Kanda woke up, he had gotta amnesia and ended up thinking that he was a fairy princess since that was what Allen and Lavi told him first.

"I'm a.. fairy princess?"

"That's right! You're kingdom is waiting for you in the science division. Go spread your magic!"

"A-alright.."

"Oh, and don't forget your special princess dress!"

It was safe to say that Kanda never lived that one down after skipping into the science division with a green sparkly tutu, green sparkly leotard, big, fake wings, a tiara and a plastic wand with a star on top. The science division was disturbed indeed.

**62. Start telling people cheesy 'yo mama' jokes.**

It all started when a few finders started telling eachother Yo Mama joked. Then, it became an all-out battle throughout HQ.

"Yo mama's so fat that whenever she walks into the ocean the whales sing, 'WE ARE FAMILY! MY BROTHER'S AND MY SISTERS AND ME! WE ARE FAMILY!'"

"Yo mama's so stupid that she walked into Burger King and thought she was a queen."

"Yo mama's so stupid that at the bottom of an application where it said 'Sign Here', she wrote 'Pisces'."

"Yo mama's so fat that I ran around her twice and got lost."

**63. Take away Kanda's soba.**

Kanda kicked Allen in the shin after he found out from Jerry that the younger exorcist had eaten it all. Poor Allen couldn't walk for three days afterwards.

**64. Consult a Ouija board.**

Lenalee, Lavi and Allen turned off all the lights except for a flashlight and asked the Ouija board how they were going to die. They hadn't expected it to work, but then the wooden triangle actually moved. It read the following-

"Lenalee- Gets run over by a lawnmower"

"Lavi- Becomes depressed since Bookman breaks up with him and ends up getting drunk and falling off the cliff"

"Allen- Chokes on a chunk of beef"

**65. Sit in someone's closet, out of view, and when they look for something, whisper, "Pick me! Psst, pick me!"**

Krory had a fit when he opened his closet and heard someone whispering to him.

"Dammit, Aslan! I told you to stop whispering to me like that! It's really scary!"

"It's not Aslan.."

"It's not? Then who is it?"

Slenderman slid out from behind one of Krory's corsets.

Krory died.

**66. Follow people who you do not know. When they look at you, hide behind something, but never stop staring at them.**

Lavi ducked behind some Finders when Allen [who had just arrived today] looked back. Somehow, although Lavi was sure to be _very_ sneaky, Allen spotted him and gave him an odd look.

Lavi never really broke out of that habit.

**67. Attempt to walk through walls.**

Turns out that it wasn't that hard. Lenalee just strolled right on through the wall, but turned back around when she saw that she had walked in on Lavi dumping some weird stuff into the toilet and making weird sounds. Lavi didn't question Lenalee, and Lenalee didn't question Lavi. They never spoke of the incident to eachother.

**68. Claim that you have Anatidaephobia. [the fear that somewhere, a duck is watching you]**

Komui started screaming and crying incoherently when a duck waddled into HQ. Jerry made good use out of it, though.

**69. Hold a jousting match.**

Since there wasn't really any horses, Allen sat on Timcanpy who got into his really fat state, while Lavi sat on one of Komui's malfunctioning robots. However, neither jousters managed to get anywhere near eachother. Timcanpy ended up breaking into an all-out spinout, while Sir Komlin the 2935906048383th ate Lavi.

**70. Hide in an air duct. When people walk by, drop a banana peel and whisper, "Careful, there's a peel. It's out to kill."**

Leverier's eyes bulged when he saw a banana peel and he filed a formal complaint against HQ. From that point forward, he saw _many_ banana peels in his way.

* * *

A/N- you don't have to read the following, as it has nothing to do with the story. But if you'd like to get in an extra laugh, and feel amusement because of my struggles in life, then go ahead and read.

Okay okay, I know that absolutely none of you were wondering how my snowboarding trip went. But I'll tell you anyways, because I waste people's time for a living. Honestly.

So, for starters, we were going to Mount Snow in Vermont. I had to get up at 3 AM for a bus that left at 3:45. I was so tired it was unbelievable. On the way to Vermont, we had to go through Massachusetts, and many of us know how Massachusetts people hate New York people. Our bus got pulled over by a trooper [why did I just have the urge to write down 'Storm Trooper'?] and he started freaking out at the bus driver. Apparently we were going 55 on a 45 mph highway. Meanwhile, everyone around us was just going right past us. And we get pulled over. So then the trooper goes back to his cop car. We wait for twenty minutes. The cop then comes back, and he's like, "Okay, I'm giving you a warning..." A warning? Took him twenty minutes to come up with a warning? Anyways, my bus driver's all like, "I'm sorry sir, but I don't think I was doing anything wrong.." The cop absolutely FREAKS OUT. He starts yelling and then ends up giving my bus driver a ticket. $149. For going 10 miles over the limit. ...really cop? really? So then it took ANOTHER 20 minutes for him to write out a ticket.

Finally, we get there, and I end up being the last off the bus so my mom started yelling at me and yeah. I was just too tired to be all like "Bitch move your ass" to some dude to get into line. Yeah.

Blah blah blah, you get the deal. Not explaining my entire time at the mountain. But I'd just like to say this- I'm NEVER doing moguls again. Ever. The entire mountain was made up a moguls and just... it was horrible, I couldn't go fast because of the god damn moguls. If you don't know what moguls are, look it up, I hate them way too much to try to explain them. Those little mounds of terror, them moguls...

As usual for opening season, I got injured! I told you I would! Not as bad as usual, though. I sprained both wrists and my right pointer and middle fingers, bruised up my knees, pulled various left muscles, bruised my tail bone, and wrenched my shoulder. Nothing too serious, and the sprains were only mild. [they stopped hurting within two days- I heal up fast] The most painful thing is probably my wrenched shoulder because now, I can barely move it without it giving out on me. o3o

The ride home was torture, though. There was a blizzard and it took us seven and a half hours to get home. So, I was stuck on a cramped bus with a group of dudes behind me getting drunk, my mom munching and crunching on various assorted vegetables, old 80's comedy movies playing, ice water leaking through the windows onto me, about a foot of leg room, and people outside getting into accidents left and right. To say in the least, it was a rather unpleasant seven and a half hours.

that's the simplified version of it, yes. I could write so much more, going into the DETAILS of what happened. If you're really interested in finding out the funny parts in full messed-up detail, feel free to PM me. [but I honestly doubt anyone will because I also doubt that anyone actually read this.]

did you enjoy that waste of your time?

i bet you didn't.

mission status: success.


	8. 71-80

**71. Introduce anime.**

"Let's cosplay!" Lenalee screamed.

Allen cosplayed as Zero Ichiru from Vampire Knight

Kanda cosplayed as Colonel Mustang from Fullmetal Alchemist

Lenalee cosplayed as Maka from Soul Eater

Komui cosplayed as Spirit from Soul Eater [ironically]

Krory cosplayed as Kaname Kuron from Vampire Knight [it was a rather scary sight indeed]

Lavi cosplayed as Cross Marian from the Black Order [which of course creeped everyone out]

**72. Tell the Black Order that they aren't actually real and are just part of an anime.**

"W-what?"

"That would explain why everyone bleeds so much from the smallest wounds, and even when you blast them to pieces, there's no guts or anything."

"My life... is complete."

"Che."

This was the reaction of four different people. Allen, Lavi, Chaoji, and Kanda. In that order.

**73. Have a glowstick party.**

Glowsticks ended up popping and everyone died from the toxins.

**74. Introduce Laven to everyone.**

Lavi started reading it and found out that the thought that him and Allen would actually make a cute couple. So, that night, he assaulted Allen in his room and claimed that, quote, "Allen, we should be boyfriends! We'd be so adorbs together!"

Allen then started screaming and crying and accusing Lavi of rape.

Laven, therefore, was banned.

[except in episode 24, at the end, where everyone gets beautified by Komlin the VI. They obviously tried to make out. This made obbsessive Yullen fangirls around the world hate Lavi.]

**75. Open a 'Waffle Cabin' in the cafeteria.**

When everyone tried the delicious waffles covered in melted sugar and chocolate, Jerry lost all his customers. Except for Allen, of course, but he doesn't count because he eats like four times his own weight in food per meal.

**76. Park a white van outside of HQ and spraypaint 'FREE CANDY' on the side of it. See if anyone goes along with it.**

Komui parked the white van in front of HQ. Not surprisingly, Allen was the first kid to come running over. What surprised Komui was that Klaud Nine actually had an obsession over various candies and would kill to get her favorite brand of gummy bears. So she killed Allen by unleashing her creepy pet monkey on him. Komui ran out of all the Haribou gummy bears, Klaud Nine was happy, and Allen was twitching and dying a painful death by monkey mauling.

**77. Drown in a kiddie pool. **

As it turned out, Leveriere [spelling died- too lazy to look up how to spell our dear friend Lev's full name] never learned how to swim. Cross found him face down in a foot-deep kiddie pool on his way to the potty room. He left him there.

**78. Label two pigs as #1 and #3. Let them loose, and see who tried to find #2.**

Krory [who has finally returned from Narnia], Lenalee, Allen, and Kanda were all looking for pig #2 after finding #1 and #3 rolling around on Cross's bed, and Cross having a mental breakdown over it. Turns out that Cross has a phobia of pigs and wouldn't leave anyone alone until they found #2. They never did find that one.

**79. Go to Wonderland.**

Krory was lured in by the cute rabbit and he fell down into Wonderland. Everyone just figured he'd gone back to Narnia.

**80. Break the fourth wall.**

Lavi looks over his shoulder at the reader. "Oh, hi there! Didn't see you!"

Allen walks over and stops, also looking at the reader. "Who's your friend, Lavi?"

"I dunno Allen, they're just staring. Actually, it's getting a little creepy.."

Kanda stops by and glares at the reader. Then, what we've all been waiting for...

"Che."

A few readers cheer.

"So Lavi... what do we do? The funny-looking person just keeps staring at us."

"Should we tell Komui?"

"He would sic a Komlin on them. So, no, let's not."

"Good idea."

Lavi and Allen walk away, not bothering much. Kanda unsheaths Mugen and slashes away the portal that allowed the fourth wall to break.

* * *

might have used the fourth wall thing already... oh well, too lazy to check. o3o

oh, and by the way, the Waffle Cabin is real, and they sell these AWESOME waffles. Legit awesome. you can only get them at ski resorts though, they're usually either by the lodges or the lifts. [B so yummy...

SO SORRY FOR LATE UPDATE ;n; i will try harder, honest! winter is just super duper busy! XDD

[oh, and see my new pen name? eh? eh? named it after my beloved sword, Casanova, which i named because i love it so much ouo]


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